Walter Collmann looked out his office window at the Earth slowly turning below him and the giant spacedock facility. He had become accustomed to this view and he still loathed it. His place was not in space looking down at Earth, his place was down there, looking up to the stars.
Whatever the other high-ups in Starfleet thought of him, Admiral Collmann considered himself a true Starfleet officer. He knew that humanity’s future lay among the stars, but would it be so wrong to for the spirit of mankind to stand tall and proud? The spirit that had propelled Starfleet and the Federation to their position as one of the foremost powers of both the Alpha and Beta Quadrants?
No. Walter Collmann was certain that it was the people of Earth who had guaranteed the continuing success of the Federation and he would make certain that it stayed that way. All it needed was to build-up military strength and to concentrate on the most important matters first, dealing with the rest later. Would it really be too much to ask the citizens of the Federation to give up some of their wealth and prosperity to ensure their continued safety?
Yes. The people of the Federation had a right to rely on the men and women of Starfleet to protect them. After all, that was one of the most important tasks of Starfleet and the average citizen should not have to concern himself with the sometimes hard decisions Starfleet officers had to make each and every day. But now the Chaos War had changed everything. At least for a little while everyone would have to make a contribution to ensure that at least the heart of the Federation received the strength and protection it needed. All that stood in Collmann’s way was the club of touchy-feely officers like Fairchild and her ilk, who couldn’t stomach the hard decisions that needed to be made during the coming weeks and months.
The
Vice-Admiral looked away from the window and turned his thoughts towards more
immediate concerns than his long-term goals. Tarkington had certainly made a
mess of the Vulcanis affair, there was no denying that. Trying to discredit Veal
and the Valkyrie had been a good idea, but the way Tarkington had gone
about it had been all wrong. Sooner or later Walter Collmann might have to take
a personal hand in that matter, but certainly not in such an obvious way
Tarkington had tried. The Admiral knew enough about Captain Veal to suspect that
she wouldn’t back down if confronted openly, but there were other ways, ways
that would even take Avanessian and Fairchild by surprise.
All
Collmann would do for now was make sure Tarkington got the sentence Avanessian
and Fairchild hoped for. The man had been useful in the past, but it was time to
sever that connection, before it could hurt the Admiral. What better way to do
it than to throw the man to the wolves, especially if it could be done without
Tarkington ever finding out about it.
*
* * * *
"Isn't
this your usual time to get ready for duty?" Ben eyed her across the table,
just as Tarin sat down with another cup of tea.
"Dr. Jascar has asked me to take it slow for the next 3 or 4 days. While he has not been very precise on what he meant by 'taking it slow’, I am inclined not to argue about it."
"Oh, I thought you would be happy to be back in the center seat, especially now that we are on a science mission. What's up with you? Another change I should know about?"
Tarin smiled wryly, gratitude for his concern, a little guilt tied to her own laziness, and a certain reluctance about what she felt necessary to do, all compounded in that single expression. "Well, our science department didn't have much to do during the last few weeks and they need to stretch their legs, so to speak. Serving on a Galaxy-class ship that's not assigned to exploratory duties is hard enough on them and I believe they need the freedom to do this on their own terms, without me constantly looking over their shoulder."
"I guess you have a point there, but that's not all, is it?"
"No, it's not. There are a few other things on my agenda and this seems a pretty good opportunity to give them some attention."
"Such as?"
"Spending a little more time with you before the next crisis hits us for example."
"Hey, I'd say that alone is more than enough reason, but didn't Doc Jascar tell you to take it easy?"
"You oaf." Tarin grinned at him and Ben blew her a kiss in reply. They both knew they would really ‘take it easy’ for a few days – it was just that time of the month.
"Anything
else?"
"Dar needs to develop a rapport with all departments and so far he has had hardly any contact with the science personnel. He just never had the time for it, but now I want to make sure he has to make time for it."
Ben nodded his agreement as she went on. "It's also a good opportunity for me to get to know Catherine a little better. Considering her initial reluctance to be part of our mission she has become a member of our team in no time at all. I want to make sure it stays that way and that aside, I would just like to get to know her a little better."
"Guess you are lucky, but I have to get to work now. Just make sure you save some of that taking-it-easy time for the evening." Ben winked at her and Tarin responded likewise.
After Ben had gone Tarin stared out the window. There had been one other reason she hadn't told her fiancé about. Withholding something from Ben had never really been necessary and it wasn’t easy, but this time it seemed to her that she had little choice.
Tarin could still remember bits and pieces of the future Rishana had shown her, probably more than Rishana herself could recall. While the Betazoid was apparently ready to accept that the future depended on more than some kind of predestined fate, she had only been able to come around and fight her fears by repressing the worst of her predictions. At least that was the conclusion Tarin had drawn from the conversations she had with Rishana Hagen the last few days.
Now it looked like Tarin was the only one who recalled some details of the future Rishana had almost sacrificed every one of her friends to avoid. Sharing that vision with Ben or anyone else would only lead to paranoia. Tarin needed a crew that wasn't constantly trying to second-guess anything that happened in light of a possible future, that could be nothing more than a bad dream. It was bad enough that she might fall into that trap herself and if that future was really going to happen one day, she needed to gather as much strength as she could while she still had the chance.
* * * * *
"Have a seat, please," Doctor Jascar invited, as Rishana entered his office.
She took the offered chair without a word, but managed to flash Doctor Jascar and Captain Veal a quick smile, which Tarin returned.
"Now, let me get straight to the point." He activated a control on his desk and several medical readings appeared on the large monitor behind him that looked rather cryptic to both women facing him across the desk. "Lieutenant Hagen, while your physical health is about as good as it should be, there are still a few things that trouble me."
The Doctor folded his hands on the table and leaned slightly forward. "I doubt I will ever fully understand what has happened to you, but I can at least tell you something about the alterations it triggered in your neuro-physiology. There are changes in your telepathic cortex that seem closely related to the changes the chroniton radiation has triggered. You may be able to judge the severity of those changes or not, but to be frank I have no idea if this change is detrimental to your health. So far there seems to be no adverse effect, but there is no way of telling if this will hold true in the future. The only good thing is that my first tests suggest that chroniton radiation will not trigger any further changes. However this episode has changed you, it looks like it's going to stay as it is."
"I understand." After a small pause Rishana broke the ensuing silence and added: "I don't think this will give me any major trouble in the future." She chuckled and shook her head at her use of the word 'future'. "Whatever happened has slightly diminished my telepathic powers, but not so much that it really troubles me. As for the rest... I think I can handle it."
Theron closely studied her face from narrowed eyes for a few seconds, before he slowly nodded. "Very well. Captain, I would like to place Lieutenant Hagen on convalescent leave, on two conditions." Tarin gestured for him to continue and the Doctor reached for a small disk-shaped instrument.
"First
of all, Lieutenant, I want you to wear this cortical-monitor for the next few
days and come back to me every other day for a follow-up examination, until I am
fully satisfied that your condition won't deteriorate again. As soon as that
happens we can discuss your return to active duty."
When
Rishana replied with a simple "Okay" the Doctor rose and affixed the
sensor device behind her ear. Still standing at the edge of the desk he went on.
"The
second condition on my part is, that you at least seriously consider counseling,
to deal with your experiences. I won’t order you to do so, as there are no
real medical reasons for it, but if you remember your experiences during... that
time more clearly than I do, you should take it into serious consideration."
As Rishana just looked away from the Doctor and nodded without any real enthusiasm Tarin took the word. "Thank you Doctor. Would you excuse us for a moment, please?"
After the human had left the room, Tarin swiveled her chair around and faced Rishana. "Like Doctor Jascar I won't order you to undergo counseling, but I think you should do it. Counselor Lee may be no telepath and she can't see into the future, so you are more or less on your own dealing with some of the repercussions of recent events, but I think she can help you find a way to do it."
Rishana looked doubtful. "I am not convinced she will be able to do anything that helps me."
"All I am asking is that you give it a try. See her a few times and see what comes up. Maybe telling her about the doubts you have as to the usefulness of counseling might be a good idea, too. If you are convinced that you can handle it alone or that Vulcan meditations are the way to go, that's your decision, but don't burn a bridge before you have reached it."
"Okay." Rishana sighed. "You are probably right."
"Of course, I am always right. That's why they made me captain." Tarin winked and Rishana answered her with a small smile. "Now I believe we are done here. Before you head for your quarters stop by the bridge and let Dar give you an overview of our current mission. We may need your skills for it, but I am willing to give you as much time as you need to recuperate and Dar agrees with me, so this is only meant to keep you up to date."
"Understood." Rishana rose and headed for the door, but after one step she turned around again. "Thank you Captain, for giving me the time to deal with all that has happened on my own terms."
"No need to thank me, Rishana, as long as you make the most of the time I can give you."
*
* * * *
Commander
Enikal motioned for Rishana to sit at his right, as he settled into the chair at
the head of the conference table.
“I
am glad to see you are fit enough to leave sickbay. We will need a good pilot to
chart the outskirts of the Argolis and we may even embark on a small expedition
into the interior of the cluster. Should we do so I would like you at the helm,
that is if you think you are up to it.”
“I
am not sure and Doctor Jascar’s final verdict is still open. Until he gives
his okay you shouldn’t make any plans that depend on me.”
“I
understand. One thing you could do is access the shuttle logs from the
Captain’s flight into the Argolis and use it to set up a holodeck simulation
of the cluster interior. I know you are a fine pilot, but it won’t hurt to be
prepared.”
“Now
that is a good idea,” Rishana smiled. “Just make sure to let me know when
you need me on the bridge. I want to go back to my regular duties as soon as
possible.”
“Don’t
worry, I will.”
“Will
that be all?” Rishana made ready to stand up, but Dar stopped her.
“Yes
and no. As far as the mission goes we are finished here, but there is one other
thing.” He drew a deep breath. “What happened, Rishana?”
“I
don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Don’t
lie to me. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine, just say so, but you know
very well what I mean. You fall into a coma for days, then suddenly everyone
else blacks out and when we come around, you are back on your feet again as
well. That’s no coincidence.” He looked away from her and his voice turned
softer, more thoughtful. “Then there are the dreams I had. I know you were
there, even if I don’t remember much else. You must know what happened and I
want to know, too.”
“I
am sorry. You are right, I shouldn’t lie to you. And you are right that I
don’t want to talk about it. Try to forget what happened, at least for now,
please.” Rishana rose and looked down at the Bolian, her eyes pleading him not
to press her for anything more.
He
drummed his fingers on the desk a moment, then looked up to her. “That’s
just it? I should forget about it and pretend it never happened?”
“Yes.
At least you can try. That’s a luxury some of us don’t have.”
* * * * *
The Valkyrie's main shuttlebay on deck 4 was the largest single area on the whole ship and Tarin was still amazed by the size of the vast room. She had only seen this hall once before, when she first came aboard the ship with Admirals Avanessian and Nomura, and even during routine operations shuttlebay 1 seemed a hubbub of people going to and fro. For a second the Captain was just another person in the hustle and bustle of something that was part of her ship and yet very far removed from the routine of the Valkyrie's bridge.
As the hangar bay tractors gently guided the USS Hawk towards her landing position Tarin studied the small ship. At a little over twenty meters in length the Hawk was about the size of a runabout, but sleeker and with larger forward windows that afforded the pilot a much better view of his surroundings. The unusually large, wing-like, nacelle pylons were another obvious difference to most Starfleet small craft, but all things considered the Hawk looked to Tarin like an oversized shuttle.
When the Hawk turned to port and sat down on the deck of the Valkyrie's hangar Tarin noted the airlock on the aft end of the ship, which seemed to be the only entrance into the small courier. After a few seconds the door opened and revealed the latest additions to the Valkyrie's crew. As Captain Veal and Commander Enikal walked over to the small vessel two people stepped down the ramp that had extended from the airlock and the officer took a step forward, while the young woman in the gray and blue cadet uniform just waited by the airlock.
When the Valkyrie's officers stopped two meters from the two waiting persons, the new arrivals came to attention, or at least the young woman did. What the Lieutenant in the red-shouldered uniform did certainly looked like he was coming to attention, but his boyish grin made it very clear that it was only a change in posture. He glanced at the Bolian Commander before he turned to Tarin.
"Lieutenant Caleb Foster, reporting for duty, Captain. Permission to come aboard?"
Tarin repressed a smile. His tone was respectful enough to satisfy protocol, but it betrayed more than enough self-confidence and an eagerness to show the world at large just how much of a man he was. In a way Caleb Foster reminded her of another brash young Lieutenant she had once known, but unlike Ben Tucker, Lieutenant Foster's youthful energies had not been tempered by an awareness of his own limitations or the realization that the world didn't revolve around him alone.
"Permission
granted and welcome aboard." Tarin nodded at the Lieutenant, before looking
at the woman standing behind him. "That goes for you as well Cadet Xedon,
or would you prefer Cadet Tori?" Among Komari the family name was almost
never used in conversation. Instead they addressed each other by their given
names or, on more formal occasions, by appending the first name to a job title.
The young woman took a small step forward and looked up to the captain, or at
least that was what Tarin gathered from the motion of the cadet’s head. With
the Komari it was almost impossible to judge where they really looked, for where
other humanoids had pupils and irises and white, Komari eyes were of a single
color. While Tarin had met a few Komari, she still found the sight a little
unsettling, as her gaze met the dark brown orbs that were Tori Xedon’s eyes.
"I have become used to being addressed by my family name, Captain, but to be honest I would prefer Cadet Tori, if that won't cause any confusion, Ma'am."
"I am sure it won't." Tarin gave her an encouraging smile before turning more formal once again. "Now, our Executive Officer, Commander Enikal," she motion to the Bolian who took a step forward, "will brief you two on your duties and give you a quick tour of the ship. We will both get together with you later, to discuss the details of your assignments, but for now that will be all."
* * * * *
"Now that was a rather cold welcome. I would have at least expected the usual pep-talk," Cal Foster remarked as he entered the turbolift with Tori Xedon and Commander Enikal.
Only the Commander's order to the turbolift computer broke the silence that answered Lieutenant Foster and after a few seconds he started again. "I said that was a rather cold welcome."
"I heard you the first time Lieutenant, but if you want answers you should try asking questions." The Bolian's sarcastic undertone wasn't completely lost on Foster, but the young Lieutenant wasn't one who gave up easily.
"Yes, Sir. So, why do you think the Captain's welcome wasn't a little more, you know, welcoming?"
Dar Einkal stopped the turbolift and very slowly turned to Foster, closely studying the man's smug grin and challenging look. "Lieutenant Foster, neither do I make it a habit, nor am I in the mood, to second-guess the Captain's motives. That aside, would it have been me doing the welcoming you might have cause for a real complaint."
If anything Caleb's grin widened. This was just what he had expected and so far he had no reason to turn away from his usual behavior on a new posting.
Commander Enikal did not disappoint Cal Foster when he added: "I have known you for only a few minutes, but already you will have your work cut out if you want to convince me that you don't have a serious attitude problem. While you may find that on this ship we – and by that I mean every member of the crew – can be quite cordial and amicable, we deal that way only with people who have earned our trust and respect. If you want to be a member of this crew for any length of time you should try to achieve both."
Dar Enikal activated the lift again as Foster replied with a "Yes, Sir" that was just a little bit too enthusiastic that Dar would trust the Lieutenant truly understood him.
Cal
Foster wasn't concerned, but he fought down his almost perpetual grin.
Convincing everyone that he was just a braggart would make his accomplishments
look even more impressive, once he showed them the true extent of his skills.
Then people would no longer mistake his self-esteem for arrogance, but learn to
accept it as the well-founded pride it truly was. Too bad that everywhere he went there were a few people who would just be too envious
to stop spreading those silly rumors about him.
Or rather too bad for Caleb Foster that it had never occurred to him that his fellow shuttle pilots - who had every reason to envy his skills – would never be able to spread his bad reputation as far and wide as it reached. That was something only the reports of his commanding officers could accomplish.
* * * * *
Catherine Lee studied the small computer display, but the program currently running was only identified as 'Tarin Alpha-21'. Under normal circumstances she wouldn't dare intrude into someone's holodeck program, but the Captain had picked both the time and place for their meeting, so the Counselor just opened the heavy double-doors and stepped onto a pier abutting the shore of a deep blue ocean.
When Catherine turned around, the doors had closed and there was only the ocean behind her, stretching to the horizon under a cloudless sky. The wind started to play with her hair and she took a deep breath, smelling the salty air, her head turning up to the two suns that glistened on the gently rolling waves.
Drawing her eyes off the sea Catherine started to walk towards the café at the end of the pier and the large city that stretched along the wooded hilly coastline behind it. Wide boulevards mixed with small meandering streets in an intriguing blend of old and new that returned in the combination of low buildings of wood and stone and the few tall towers of glass and metal. With it’s many small parks and wide tree-lined boulevards the city looked picturesque, even idyllic.
Before she had time to study the city any closer she was startled by a deep melodious cry from above and Catherine looked up, squinting her eyes against the sunlight. A flock of birds was circling high above the pier, effortlessly gliding on the air currents, only occasionally flitting a wing to steer their graceful flight.
"Over here." Tarin waved the Counselor over to one of the tables at the edge of the pier. "I am glad you could make it."
"So am I," Catherine replied after she has settled into one of the wicker chairs. "This place is beautiful. Where is this?"
Tarin looked around until she had caught the attention of one of the waiters and pointed at her empty glass, raising two fingers, before she answered. "This is Kaphalas, on the Shima'van sea of Alpha Centauri. I was raised right on the other side of..." she looked around, then pointed to the edge of the city, "that hill."
Before Catherine had a chance to reply the waiter placed two glasses on the glass table top. "What is this?" the Counselor asked as she eyed the yellow-green liquid and the slice of a kiwi-like fruit stuck on the rim of the glass. She picked up the cool glass, only then noticing that the temperature on the holodeck was several degrees higher than the standard 22°C of a Starfleet ship.
"It's called Tevara. In human terms it's a mix of iced tea and fruit juice, or at least it's very close to it. Trust me, you will like it."
* * * * *
Catherine set down her empty second glass of Tevara. She was getting used to the sweet, but slightly bitter, taste and while she didn’t like it just as much as Tarin had advertised, it was a welcome refreshment in the simulated heat of a Centauran day. "Now, maybe it's time to talk about why you invited me here. Not that I don't enjoy your tales about your homeworld. I really do," she added.
Tarin studied the Counselor's face for a few seconds, but all she could see was curiosity in her eyes and a small smile that accompanied Catherine's last remark. She looked away and watched one of the Shuruka birds dive down and rise again with a fish caught in it's beak. "There are two reasons I wanted to see you." She took a gulp of her drink and looked at the Counselor.
"The first one is that I meant it when I said that I want to get to know you better and I hope we can get back to that, after we have dealt with the second topic I want to discuss."
"I hope so too." For a time Catherine had thought that the Captain was only looking for a way to involve her more in ship's business when she invited her to lunch or spent a little of her off-duty time with her, but it had become apparent to her that Tarin was more than willing to extend a hand of friendship. It was an offer Catherine valued highly.
Noticing how sincere Catherine sounded Tarin found it easier than she had expected to raise her second point. "The other reason is, that I wanted to know if Rishana has already contacted you to schedule some counseling sessions." Tarin raised both hands in a defensive gesture. "If so, I won't ask you about any details. I know that's confidential, but I would like to know if she has taken my advice about seeing you and if I asked her, she might feel pushed into a corner and do it only to satisfy me, which is the last thing I want."
"I understand," Catherine warmly replied. "You are concerned about Rishana and that's quite alright." Tarin flashed her one of her wide smiles in return, grateful for the Counselor's understanding. "And to answer your question, yes, Rishana has made an appointment with me. In fact we had a long talk right after lunchtime. While it may take her a while to accept the possibility, I am convinced that I can do a few things to help her cope with recent events."
* * * * *
"The most important thing is that you find out what you really want."
"What do you mean?" Rishana cautiously asked. As the daughter of two counselors it would have been difficult for her to share the unease of some of her friends when it came to counseling. What she still couldn’t quite fathom was the concept of someone who was neither telepath nor empath being an efficient counselor, but so far she had no reason to complain. Counselor Lee had made some suggestions, asked a few questions, but for the most part she had just listened to whatever Rishana had to say, without pushing her in any direction.
"A lot has happened to you, but you have a lot of alternatives how to deal with it." Catherine crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair, mirroring Rishana's body language. "I won't pretend to fully understand what has happened, but what you have told me so far sounds like you are not sure how to deal with it."
Rishana sighed. "And you know how I should do it? Is that it?"
"No."
"No? Then why are we having this session at all?"
"Because,"
Catherine replied with a smile, "I am not here to tell you what to do, but
to help you find that out for yourself." She uncrossed her legs and leaned
forward again. "Whatever happened to you, it happened to you alone.
No one knows more about it than you do and that is why you are the only person
qualified to decide how you need to deal with it. What I can try is to provide
you with a sounding board and maybe offer you a new perspective once in a while.
If
we take this journey together you are the pilot. You set the course and you make
the decisions."
"Nice analogy," Rishana
remarked, a faint smile starting to tug at her lips. "Then you would be
what, the ops officer?"
"Something like that, yes."
Catherine's smile widened. " But whatever you say now, you can always leave
at any time you want. Even if you allow me to start this journey with you, it
doesn't mean we have to go all the way together."
Rishana looked away from the
Counselor and tugged at an earlobe while she thought about it. For months she
had tried on her own to deal with what she still viewed as something of a curse.
At least Tarin had shaken her up enough to realize that she needed to get a hold
of herself if she wanted to control her unique abilities. Maybe it was time to
let somebody else try to help her and the Counselor had raised a good point.
Nobody had ordered Rishana to attend these counseling sessions and if she wanted
to bail out she could do so anytime.
"All right, let's give it a try."
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
