Chapter Seven – Me and you

"Why?"

Rishana didn't immediately answer. Instead she sat down at her dining table, well away from Tarin, and carelessly brushed some of the stuff piled on it from the desk so she had room to prop her elbows on the table, resting her forehead on her hands.

"You have seen my logs. You must know that my visions may have been off on some details, but all in all they came true – the time, place and way Starfleet would deliver my orders for this posting, how I ran into Commander Enikal when he was about to deliver some pretty bad news to you, that Commander Gevon wouldn't become our Security Chief, and so on and so on. Do you know how I felt about it?"

Tarin knew, but she knew just as well that her answer didn't really matter to Rishana, so she kept silent.

"I had always thought the future was something we make ourselves, that we all can control how things will turn out, but I was wrong. Nothing of what I did mattered and after a time I stopped trying." She crossed her arms on the table and rested her chin on them. "Now that the visions have become so much clearer I am afraid. I am afraid what will happen if someone doesn't change it all, but I couldn't do what's necessary to accomplish it. She can and that's why a part of me wants her to succeed."

"I see." Tarin was glad it was slowly becoming true for her physical senses too and she picked up the framed photo from the low table by the sofa. "I wish you were right."

Rishana sat straight and turned to her captain, her surprise only growing when she saw what Tarin held in her hands. "What did you say?"

"I said that I would be glad if what you have just told me was true." She held up the picture, past pain briefly distorting her face. "If it was true then all we do is preordained, laid out by forces beyond our control, and if that was true it wouldn't have been me who really killed your lover."

The Betazoid jumped out off her chair and took a step forward. "Don't say that! You didn't kill Thurev!"

Tarin leaned back and looked Rishana in the eyes. "So you think it was Loki who caused Thurev's death?"

"Yes! That's how it happened and you know it as well as I do."

"No, if I were to believe what you said a minute ago that would be wrong." Tarin carefully placed the photograph back in it's place as she went on. "If you are right about the way the future is predestined Loki had no more hand in Thurev's death than any of us."

She glanced at Rishana again and noticed her doubtful look. "I would like to believe you, as it would free me from any guilt for whatever I have done in the past, but I can't. Since I have viewed your personal logs I have thought a lot about fate and destiny and let me tell you something..."

"Fate can go to hell!"

* * * * *

"But..."

"No." Tarin cut her off with a swift motion. "Sit."

Rishana obeyed her order more from training and instinct than anything else, but the force behind Tarin's words was not completely lost on her.

"As I told you I have thought about this for a while and there is something I remembered while doing it. There is an old saying, from Earth I believe, that goes like this..."

"If fate throws a knife at you there are two ways to catch it, by the blade or by the handle."

Tarin rose and walked over to Rishana, kneeling at her side and taking her hands into her own. "Don't you see, that's all that matters. Too much has happened to us that I can put it all down to coincidence, but whatever decisions we have made, whatever we have done, it was our choice. I may have been forced into the situations I found myself in by fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it, but the decisions I made were my own. No voice whispered in my ear, suggesting one action or the other, and no one forced my hand when I destroyed the Well of Urd or fired at that forcefield in Starfleet HQ or destroyed the Romulan fleet at Vulcan."

She looked up at Rishana – the true Rishana Hagen – and Tarin smiled. She had finally come to grips with whatever the future held in store for her and all she could do was to be true to herself. That was all that mattered to her now.

"That is all anyone can hope to accomplish. We all have to play the hand we are dealt and make the best of it, no matter how high the stakes are. That is all I have ever done and if I have ever known you, it's what you have done too, Rishana."

* * * * *

Rishana looked away from Tarin and sighed.

"Yes," she slowly replied, her voice wavering, "it's what I have done in the past, but..."

"But me no buts!" Tarin sounded forceful, but as much as her words suggested it, there was no scorn in her voice.

"I don't really care if what that other part of you has shown me is the future as it will happen or not. The one thing she hasn't shown me is why I will make the decisions she supposes I will make and I have to believe I will have a say in that."

Tarin rose, only to sit in the chair next to Rishana, still holding her hands. All force vanished from her voice as she continued, making what she said just a simple statement of facts, nothing more, nothing less.

"Maybe you and her can really predict the future, but what if I will make those choices you can foretell because it will avert an even greater tragedy? All any of us can hope for is to do the best we can under the circumstances we find ourselves in and that is the one chance everyone has."

She let go of Rishana's hands only to take a hold of the Betazoid's shoulders and turn her around to face her.

"Are you ready to take everyone's lives into your own hands, control all their choices, deprive them not just of their free will, but by doing it taking control of everything else that makes them who they are?"

Rishana forced herself to look up and she was stunned by Tarin's compassion. What she had been offered was a chance to place the responsibility for the future on Tarin Veal's shoulders and she realized Tarin knew that as well as she did, even if it was not a conscious knowledge. And yet, her captain was ready to shoulder that responsibility, so Rishana could be free of her doubts and fears...

 "Even if I wanted to, there is nothing I could do. The other me has been in control for too long."

"Wrong again." Tarin's smile turned into a wicked grin as she explained her plan, or rather her rough idea of a plan, to Rishana.

* * * * *

"This will never work," Rishana exclaimed.

Tarin wanted to say something, to offer the support Rishana needed, but she knew better than to do it with words alone. As she rose and walked over to the replicator she tried to exude an air of confidence she hardly felt.

She remembered what Captain McSorley - her CO when she was still a science officer - had told her as she had taken the bridge officer's exam and how she had remarked that, whatever was at stake, she wouldn't be able to lie to her crew about their chances or anything else.

"Whatever you tell your crew to motivate them, it's not a lie. While you may be forced to withhold the truth from the people you command, that's just a way of bringing out their best and putting it to use. If you do that, nothing you will have said will be a lie, as a good crew with a good CO can accomplish anything. Act on that and you can turn a situation completely around by using your own abilities and what your crew has to offer, if only you can get them to do it."

"Coffee, hot, double cream, double sugar."

Maybe it was just the memory of a replicator and the coffee was not more than another memory drawn from Rishana's mind, but it tasted real enough. "This is really good," Tarin remarked. "If this is what coffee tastes to you I should envy you. Me, I never really developed a taste for it, but at least it may help me get rid of that damned headache."

Rishana stood up and took two steps towards Tarin. "Allow me." She took the cup and took a sip from it. "Tastes like I remember it."

"You see," Tarin offered, "even the smallest details here depend on you to give them form and taste and smell. If it is true for the smaller things, must it not be true for the important things as well?"

Rishana took another sip from the cup, turning that notion back and forth in her mind. "Maybe," she carefully answered. "I would still need more strength than I have now to deal with my other half. Can give it to me?"

Tarin laughed softly. "If you can get me back into my body again I can give you what you need to deal with your fears and doubts, or rather the person that embodies them." Her laughter subsided and Tarin extended her hand to Rishana.

"Are you with me?"

* * * * *

"You have no place here."

"Yes," Rishana replied as she stepped from the mists, "yes I have a place here - much more than you do."

Her opposite softly laughed a laughter devoid of all humor or amusement.

"Go back to where you came from and let me do what you wanted me to do from the start. I know what I have to do, so why don't you go back to your quarters? I promise you won't have to wait much longer."

"Don't patronize me." Rishana took another step forward and now only the glistening pool that was almost, but not quite, the Well of Urd separated them.

"How could I not?" Rishana glared at her opposite and briefly wondered how she had even managed to get out of her quarters, but it didn't really matter. "You made me what I am – the part of you that doesn't want to live through the future we have both seen. You gave me life, because I can do what you are not willing to do yourself."

Rishana tilted her head slightly, choosing each word carefully as she replied. "And what if I don't want you to do that anymore? What if I have changed my mind about you, about us?"

Her alter-ego laughed again, this time in genuine amusement. "It's too late for that. You willingly gave me all your strength and there is no way you could take it back, even if you really wanted to."

"There is one thing you forget. You may be a part of me, but you draw your power from the memory of Skuld embedded in my genes and that means you depend on the Well of Urd for your power." She knew very well that this place was only a memory, but the Well of Urd had been filled with so much energy that even a memory of it held some of that power, at least in this world of dreams.

Rishana took another step forward and the metal floor extended, forming a bridge that stretched forward with every step she took across the gleaming pool that was nothing but a memory.

"Our memory of the Well is strong, but it is nothing like the real thing. Even a small fraction of what the Well was, will be more than enough to banish you, to make your strength part of myself once again."

Rishana leaned against the gigantic ash tree and smiled. "The Well is no more. It's power is gone forever." A sudden doubt crossed her mind and face. No! There was no way Rishana could do it. As long as they were both here none of them could control their body, unless...

She extended her senses, searching for Tarin Veal, and an anguished wail escaped her lips.

"Noooooo!"

* * * * *

Moira O'Shea recoiled as a dark shape lunged at her from the glowing mists.

"Let go off me!" her assailant shouted as a couple of people reached for her, trying to hold her back.

"Captain!" Moira recognized her about the same time everyone else did and the grabbing hands withdrew.

"The water from the Well. Give it to me!"

Tarin tore the small box from Moira's hand and spun around, diving back into the mist that engulfed the sickbay.

* * * * *

Epilogue – A singular gift

The explosion centered on Rishana Hagen's still sleeping form blew out most of the sickbay equipment and smashed Tarin back into the nearest bulkhead, knocking her unconscious and breaking three of her ribs.

Moira and Catherine tried to rush into sickbay together with crewmembers of the Malinche, but they were held back by a hurricane-strength wind that dispersed the glowing mist as if it had never existed. When the storm finally subsided and they entered sickbay they were surrounded by a chaos of sparking monitors and twisted equipment.

Catherine opened her medical tricorder and kneeled by Captain Veal's side. For now the best she could do was to administer a painkiller to her captain and she did just that.

"Lieutenant Hagen is alright," the Malinche's CMO called out in obvious relief, just as Ben and Theron began to stir.

Rishana Hagen opened her eyes, too, just as her two colleagues stood and looked at her. "I am sorry," she whispered. "I hope you don't remember too much of it."

"I remember enough," Theron Jascar stated matter-of-factly, "but it's already fading, so I guess I won't remember enough to hate you for too long."

Before Rishana had a chance to reply the doctor turned to his colleague from the Malinche and barked: "Get the hell out of my way, I have a patient to treat."  He grabbed the medical tricorder he was offered and went to work.

Rishana looked at Commander Tucker, but before he had a chance to reply to her question Ben was distracted by Tarin's groan.

He jumped to her side and he realized how much she was hurting, even with the painkillers already taking effect. While he tried to hold her down she struggled too hard for him to resist her for more than a few seconds. As Ben helped Tarin on her feet she stumbled to the biobed and Rishana Hagen. All Ben could do was to keep her on her feet and help her along.

* * * * *

"Captain." Rishana Hagen's voice was a mere whisper and Tarin leaned closer to catch her words. As she bent closer to the biobed Rishana reached for her and Tarin took the offered hand into both of hers.

A light started to shine from the Betazoid's hand, growing stronger and reaching up Tarin's arms until it engulfed the Centauran's whole body.

The bright shine grew in strength until it's white light filled the whole sickbay, before seeping into Tarin's body.

A sensation of compassion and resolve filled Tarin and her breathing stopped for a second as she wallowed in the feeling of quiet strength that filled her heart.

As both the light and the emotions slowly vanished she leaned even closer to her Conn Officer. "What have you done, Rishana?"

"The only thing I could do to thank you." As weak as she was Rishana still managed to smile.

"I wanted to give you the water from the Well of Urd as a present, but now I have given you what little there is left of the power it contained."

Prologue    Chapter 1    Chapter 2    Chapter 3

Chapter 4    Chapter 5    Chapter 6    Chapter 7