"Ben,
we need that forcefield down, NOW!"
Lieutenant
Commander Tucker worked as fast as he could, but now and again he dared to look
up and what he saw was the imminent destruction of Earth, embodied in an
Andorian Starfleet officer.
No,
Ben tried to tell himself, Thurev was no longer the Eclipse's
Ops Officer. He had become Loki's puppet weeks ago. 'How can I know this?' part
of him wondered, but he pushed that sudden thought back into the far reaches of
his mind without conscious effort. He had been the chief engineer of the Eclipse
for almost two years and Thurev Dra had become one of his closest friends –
that was all that mattered now. If there was any chance to save the Andorian
from the creature that controlled him, he would do his best and more to do it.
And
yet, he couldn't do it in time. Thurev, or rather Loki, would only need a minute
more to disable all of Earth's defense systems and then the fleet of ships
poised to attack the planet would strike. Shutting down the forcefield that
separated Ben and Tarin form their former colleague would take at least twice
that long.
"I
can't do it in time," he exclaimed and Commander Veal drew a deep breath,
just as he stood by her side.
She
depressed a key on her phaser and looked at her fiancé. "Set your phaser
to maximum. We are going to bring this forcefield down one way or another."
Ben
drew his own phaser, but he hesitated to carry out her orders. He knew there was
no other way to save Earth, but for a second he hated her for her willingness to
risk Thurev's life, even if the lives of billions were at stake. He looked at
the face of his Andorian friend as the young man concentrated on breaking the
last computer codes that protected the planetary defense grid.
For
the rest of his life he would be unable to forget that determined, murderous,
look and he set his phaser to maximum and pointed it at the forcefield that
blocked the only entrance to the control center.
"Ready."
"Fire!"
For
what seemed like an eternity the forcefield stayed unwavering under the constant
barrage of phased energy, but suddenly it broke down and bright orange bolts of
deadly energy stabbed into Starfleet's central command center.
"Stop!"
Tarin's
order had been too late as there had never been enough time for them to react
fast enough. When a blast of energy hit him, Thurev Dra's body disintegrated
instantly and Ben would never be able to say if it had been his or Tarin's shot
that had killed his friend.
* * * * *
Doctor
Jascar couldn't cry. He wanted to, but his emotions had died together with the
woman on the operating table. Now all he felt was an emptiness inside that
sucked away his thoughts and feelings like a black hole, but the small part of
his mind that still felt something cursed the cruel twist of fate that had
brought him to this operating theater.
It
had been hopeless and he had known it right from the start, but still he had
tried everything he could. It hadn't been enough.
Theron
nodded to the nurse and she shut down the monitor that had only shown a flatline
for the last fife minutes.
An
instant later Helena Jascar's body vanished and the room was engulfed in a
blinding light.
* * * * *
"You
don't have to do this," Tarin offered as they stepped from the Eclipse's
transporter platform.
Ben
stopped dead in his tracks. "Chief, please excuse us for a moment," he
addressed the transporter operator without tearing his eyes from Tarin's face,
but she was looking away from him.
Ben
heard the doors close behind the Eclipse's
transporter chief and he grabbed Tarin's shoulder's, spinning her around to face
him.
"I Killed Him," his voice cut through the silence like a knife. "I have to do this, no matter what you say!"
Commander
Veal looked at him and finally she stopped trying to hold back her tears. "You...,"
she sobbed, "you didn't kill him. It was my orders and... it doesn't matter
who fired..." She tried to stop her sobbing with little success, but at
least she found enough breath to continue the sentence. "...it's not
important who fired. I gave the orders and it is my responsibility."
Ben
couldn't stand to look at her tear-streaked face and he looked away. From the
corner of his eye he saw his own reflection in one of the computer panels of the
transporter room and what he saw was not his face, but a read-haired woman he
had never seen before.
When
Ben concentrated on the reflection he saw his own face again, but whatever had
happened just now became quite unimportant when Rishana burst into the
transporter room and spun around to face Ben and Tarin.
"What
happened?! Is Thurev alright!?!"
* * * * *
Doctor
Jascar rushed into the operating room and blessed the twist of fate that had
brought him here, but he had no time to think about the series of coincidences
that had led to this situation.
He
knew how severe Helena's injuries were. It would take all his skills and
experience to give her a chance, but at least she would have a chance, however
slim it might be.
Theron
Jascar started to give his orders and reached for the neural-stimulator, unaware
of how often he had already tried to save the life of his wife and that each
time he had failed.
* * * * *
It
had been a short memorial service and Ben hadn't really paid attention to
anything that had been said. Nothing about the last two weeks had felt right and
as he watched the small torpedo-turned-coffin shoot towards the sun he chided
himself for his lack of focus on matters at hand. He recalled the time he had
spent with Doctor Thomas Graham and he knew he would miss the stern but
compassionate Englishman who had been the Eclipse's
Medical Officer, but too many things felt odd to ignore them.
For
a while he had thought it had had to do with Thurev Dra's death and the way he
had died, but the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that that
was not the sole reason for his uneasiness.
For
one, there was the face of that red-haired woman
he had occasionally seen from the corner of his eyes when he passed a reflecting
surface and then there was the way his relation with Tarin didn't feel right
anymore. During their last two years on the Eclipse
they had been through a lot together, but suddenly it felt as if the war had
changed everything and Ben was certain there was more to it than Thurev's death
and the way Tarin's orders had led to it.
Whenever
they were together in the privacy of their quarters Ben had the strangest
feeling they were not supposed to be there, but
whenever he tried to concentrate on that feeling it vanished, and yet it left
him wondering and had him feel somewhat alienated from the rest of the crew.
* * * * *
Theron
Jascar started to give his orders and reached for the neural-stimulator, but
suddenly he knew it wouldn't work. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but there was
a nagging thought in the back of his mind that told him that this was not the
way to save his wife.
"Anabolic
protoplaser!" he called out and for a moment the nurse at his side
hesitated. "But Doctor, shouldn't we..."
"Anabolic
protoplaser, NOW!"
The
nurse handed him the instrument and Doctor Jascar went to work, shutting out all
emotions, working in a mechanical fashion that was based solely on his knowledge
and training, but once again it wouldn't be enough to save the life of his wife.
* * * * *
"What's
wrong with you," Tarin asked as she withdrew from Ben's half-hearted
embrace.
"Nothing."
"Don't
lie to me." Tarin drew the covers around her and looked away from her fiancé.
"I know you are not telling me the truth and you must know that I am aware
of it." She sighed and fell silent, but Ben Tucker didn't reply and she
decided it was time to break through his silence. "It's about Thurev, isn't
it?"
"No."
Ben's voice made it clear how certain he was about it and yet Tarin wasn't ready
to believe him – she couldn't think of anything that could have come between
them, apart from that one moment she regretted more than any other command
decision she ever had to make.
"No,"
he explained, "it's not that. I know we had no choice and even Rishana has
forgiven us, so why should I blame you for something you couldn't have avoided,
however much you tried?" He knew it was true. Maybe Tarin hadn't forgiven
herself, but after he had suggested allowing Rishana to read their minds, the
Betazoid had realized that there had been no other choice left to them and that
had helped him to come to grips with Thurev Dra's death himself. In a way
Rishana had absolved him from any guilt by staying his friend during the last
few weeks, but that wasn't the problem.
He
turned to Tarin and he realized how much she missed him, how much she must have
missed his support during the last few weeks, but still there was nothing he
could do about it.
"I
don't belong here."
* * * * *
Doctor
Jascar almost called for the anabolic protoplaser when suddenly he had a strong
feeling of deja-vu. While he was unable to hold on to the feeling for more than
a second he was certain that neither the neural-stimulator nor the protoplaser
was the answer he needed.
"Doctor,"
his assistant called him back into reality, noticing Theron's momentary
hesitation.
"We
need to stimulate her cellular regeneration before we begin the operation or she
will never survive the surgery." Doctor Jascar reached for his instruments
and - without looking at the younger man – he added: "Trust me I know
what I am doing, so get to work."
Theron
was too secure in his knowledge of what would happen if he did anything else and
he didn't question the glimpse into the future he had just been offered. The
impression had been too real, too much a part of him, that he was able to
question it.
Little
did he know how long it would take him to realize that he had become aware not
of the future, but of a past he had already repeated 40 times over.
* * * * *
Doctor
Jascar rushed into the operating room and cursed whatever twist of fate had
brought him there, but for once he was determined not to play into the hands of
whomever had set up this horror for him.
He
looked at the bleeding body of his wife and he knew he had seen this scene
countless times before.
Neural-stimulator,
anabolic protoplaser, cardiac bypass, enhanced cellular regeneration – nothing
had worked and he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Helena would die,
however much he tried to prevent it.
As
Theron reached for the life-support equipment and shut it off he started to cry.
He hardly realized how much he struggled against the hands of nurses and doctors
who tried to pull him away from the biobed as his vision became blurred by his
tears and he felt almost relieved.
A
hundred times his wife had passed away and a hundred times he had failed to save
her life, but finally, for Theron Jascar, it was all over.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7